"Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go." —Jamie Anderson

At LavenderCare, we are deeply committed to supporting mothers and families throughout every stage of postpartum care. But we recognize that not all journeys through pregnancy end with a healthy birth. For some, the path is marked by unimaginable grief and loss. This October, in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, we are raising awareness about the realities of pregnancy loss, stillbirth, and infant death—and the critical importance of care and support for grieving parents.

Our Why

Our mission at LavenderCare is rooted in providing holistic postpartum care. While much of our work focuses on supporting new mothers after childbirth, we also believe in standing alongside those who have experienced loss. Pregnancy and infant loss affect countless families every year, and the emotional and physical aftermath of such a tragedy can be devastating.

We are raising awareness this month to acknowledge these families, help break the silence around pregnancy loss, and provide resources and care to those who need it most. No parent should have to endure this pain alone, and it’s vital to affirm that their grief is real, their loss is valid, and their healing matters.

Understanding Pregnancy and Infant Loss

Pregnancy and infant loss is more common than many realize, though it’s often shrouded in silence. According to the World Health Organization, approximately 2.6 million stillbirths occur annually, and millions more pregnancies end in miscarriage. In Nigeria alone, it's estimated that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, and stillbirths are a leading cause of infant mortality. These statistics highlight the need for greater awareness, education, and compassionate care for those affected.

Causes of Pregnancy and Infant Loss

There are many reasons why a pregnancy may end in miscarriage or stillbirth, and it's important to remember that in most cases, there is nothing the parents could have done to prevent it. Some of the most common causes include:

• Chromosomal abnormalities: Often, a miscarriage happens because of random genetic issues that make the pregnancy non-viable.
• Infections: Certain infections, such as those affecting the uterus or the fetus, can lead to pregnancy loss.
• Placental problems: If the placenta doesn’t develop properly or detaches from the uterine wall too early, this can lead to stillbirth.
• Chronic health conditions: Conditions such as diabetes, hypertension, or thyroid disorders can increase the risk of pregnancy complications.
• Lifestyle factors: Smoking, excessive alcohol use, and drug use can contribute to miscarriage or stillbirth, though these factors are not always the cause.
• Trauma: Physical trauma, including severe accidents or falls, can sometimes lead to pregnancy loss.

While these are some common causes, it's crucial to reaffirm that most cases of pregnancy loss are beyond the parents' control. Blaming oneself is a natural but harmful response, and part of healing involves understanding that loss is not their fault.

Preventive Measures and Awareness

In some cases, early interventions or preventive measures may help reduce the risk of pregnancy complications. However, it's important to acknowledge that not all losses are preventable. Here are a few general guidelines for expecting parents:

• Regular prenatal care: Attending regular prenatal appointments helps monitor the health of both the mother and the baby, allowing healthcare providers to detect potential issues early.
• Healthy lifestyle choices: Maintaining a healthy diet, avoiding harmful substances (such as smoking or alcohol), and managing stress can support a healthy pregnancy.
• Managing chronic conditions: If a mother has pre-existing health conditions, working closely with a healthcare provider to manage these throughout pregnancy can reduce the risk of complications.
• Understanding warning signs: Knowing the signs of preterm labor, placental issues, or infections and seeking medical attention when necessary can sometimes prevent further complications.

However, it’s important to remember that even with the best care and all the right measures, loss can still happen. Parents should never feel at fault or responsible when it does.

The Importance of Post-Loss Care and Support

Pregnancy and infant loss is not just an emotional event—it is also a physical one. Mothers still undergo the postpartum process, even if the baby is no longer with them. This means that physical recovery, emotional support, and mental health care are all essential components of post-loss healing. The need for care does not disappear with the loss of the pregnancy.

At LavenderCare, we offer a range of postpartum care services that extend to grieving parents, including:

• Physical recovery support: After a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss, mothers may need medical follow-ups to ensure physical healing. This includes monitoring for infections, managing postpartum bleeding, and addressing any other complications.
• Mental health counseling: Grieving parents often experience anxiety, depression, or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Access to mental health professionals who specialize in grief is critical. Therapy, support groups, and grief counseling can help parents navigate the emotional aftermath of their loss.
• Grief validation: Too often, parents feel isolated in their grief, especially when loss occurs in early pregnancy. Acknowledging the validity of their loss and the depth of their pain is an important step in healing. Support groups, memorial services, or personal rituals can help parents honor their baby’s memory.
• Holistic healing: Grieving is a full-body experience that affects emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. LavenderCare promotes holistic healing through practices such as mindfulness, gentle yoga, and self-care techniques, helping parents process their loss in a balanced way.

Tips for Supporting Grieving Parents

If you or someone you love has experienced pregnancy or infant loss, here are a few tips for navigating this difficult time:

1. Allow yourself to grieve: Grief has no timeline, and it’s important to give yourself space to mourn your baby. Surround yourself with loved ones who understand and support your journey.

2. Seek professional help: Don’t hesitate to reach out to a grief counselor or mental health professional. Having someone to talk to can make a world of difference in processing your emotions.

3. Join a support group: Connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences can be incredibly healing. Sharing your story and hearing others’ stories reminds you that you are not alone.

4. Take care of your body: Even in grief, your body needs care. Eat nourishing foods, stay hydrated, and rest as much as you can. Physical healing is part of emotional recovery.

5. Honour your loss: Find ways to honour your baby’s memory, whether through a personal activity, a special keepsake, or a memorial service. This can be a beautiful part of your healing journey.

Reaffirming Our Commitment

Pregnancy and infant loss is an incredibly painful experience, but no parent should go through it without support. At LavenderCare, we stand with grieving parents by offering compassionate, holistic postpartum care designed to nurture both the body and the spirit. Our goal is to help parents heal physically and emotionally while providing a space for their grief to be recognized and supported.

If you or someone you know is struggling with pregnancy or infant loss, please visit www.lavendercare.co for resources and support, or email us at . We are here to help you through this journey. You are not alone, and your grief matters.

Healing Together...

During Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, we honour the babies who are no longer with us and the parents who carry their memories. We acknowledge the grief, the pain, and the strength it takes to navigate loss. Let us continue to break the silence surrounding pregnancy loss and provide the care and support these parents need to heal.

No one should grieve in isolation, and by raising awareness, we take one step closer to creating a world where grieving parents are supported, understood, and given the space to heal.